Do you think the healthiest relationships never experience difficulties?
Guess what?
They do. All the time. In fact, it’s practically inevitable that any partnership will run into challenges sooner or later.
The only difference is how those challenges are handled.
The healthiest, strongest couples have one key thing figured out that most others do not. They know when it’s time to reach out and ask for support rather than holding out until it’s too late.
That’s right. Reaching out isn’t a sign of weakness or failure.
It’s the opposite in fact. Reaching out when the relationship is struggling is a sign of strength and a willingness to make the partnership work.
What’s Inside:
Why The Strongest Couples Aren’t Afraid To Ask For Help
There’s this myth out there that happy, healthy couples never have to reach out for outside support.
This is far from the truth.
In fact, if you want a long-term healthy relationship, one of the best things you can do is be willing to put the work in.
One of the things healthy couples recognise is the moment when a pattern of communication in a relationship breaks down.
It’s also the moment they can see the creation of certain behaviours which are not healthy in a partnership.
And rather than waiting for things to escalate and become worse (as is often the case), the healthiest couples will act now to address the challenge rather than waiting until it’s too late.
You can get professional help for your relationship by reaching out to couples counselling in Melbourne. A trained, experienced therapist will work with you to give your relationship the best chance of success. Whether that’s improved communication or building up emotional connection.
Research shows that the effectiveness of couples therapy sits around the 70% mark.
This is according to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy and is a pretty huge number when the well-being of your relationship is at stake.
Doesn’t that sound pretty encouraging?
The healthiest couples who are willing to reach out and seek professional help for their relationship aren’t broken.
In fact, they’re the opposite.
They’re the ones who care about their relationship enough to put in the work to make it the best it can be.
The Problem With Waiting Too Long
Here’s where most people go wrong…
They wait.
And wait some more.
In fact, studies by relationship expert Dr. John Gottman discovered some very interesting insights.
On average, couples wait six years after problems start to seek professional support.
Six years!
In six years a lot can happen to a relationship. In fact, let’s go through a quick list:
At the point most couples actually reach out for help, their problems have become something much more ingrained. Little issues have ballooned into much larger ones.
By contrast, the healthiest couples who recognise an issue early on are the ones who see the best results. That’s because their problems haven’t had years to fester.
The analogy that always springs to mind is the dentist.
Rarely do people wait until all of their teeth are rotting and falling out to book an appointment. It’s far easier to address a small cavity rather than have to have the entire tooth removed.
Same with relationships.
What Happens In Couples Counselling
One of the biggest barriers to a lot of people when it comes to seeking therapy for their relationship is they simply don’t know what to expect.
Fair enough…
Couple’s counselling isn’t what people think.
It’s not about the therapist taking one side over the other. It’s not about being lectured on the things you’re doing wrong.
Couple’s counselling from a skilled, experienced therapist provides you with the following:
It normally starts off with the therapist wanting to know where the couple is currently at in their relationship. That’s not a dig or anything similar to that. They simply want to understand the current landscape before they start offering any strategies or ways forward.
Once that’s done, the couple will then work through specific issues at a pace that works for them. This can mean just a few sessions in certain cases or ongoing support.
Because no two relationships are the same there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.
The strategies you learn and the way the therapist approaches the sessions will be different for each relationship.
Signs It Might Be Time To Reach Out
Couples recognise it’s time to reach out for support when they notice these warning signs:
This doesn’t mean your relationship is failing. It just means you need some professional support.
Healthy, strong couples understand this. And they recognise these signs before things reach a point of no return.
How To Take The First Step
Couple’s counselling can be intimidating to begin with.
The good news is it doesn’t need to be complicated. The first step to getting started with therapy is having a simple honest conversation with your partner about wanting to do something to work on your relationship.
Tips for taking that first step include:
In Melbourne, you’ve got access to some of the best relationships specialists in the country. From work/life balance issues to communication difficulties, Melbourne couples have plenty of options when it comes to professional help.
Breaking The Stigma
One of the biggest reasons many couples hold off from seeking professional help is due to a stigma that is often still attached to counselling.
Many people still feel that if a relationship is seeing a therapist it has failed. That’s simply not the case.
Couples seeing a counsellor is a bit like a personal trainer for a relationship. The best athletes in the world will have coaches and personal trainers. The highest performing executives have mentors and coaches.
Why should a relationship be any different?
The healthiest, strongest relationships understand that external support is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it’s just the opposite. It’s a tool. A resource. An investment.
And there’s nothing wrong with saying you worked on your relationship.
The healthiest, strongest couples aren’t embarrassed to admit they’ve done so. In fact, they’re proud of it.
Wrapping Things Up
Strong couples don’t avoid problems. They know how to tackle them head on with the right support.
Waiting years to address issues in a relationship makes things much, much more difficult.
The healthiest, strongest couples are those that are willing to seek help from a professional before those little problems snowball into much bigger ones.
Key take-home points:
If there’s one thing to take from this guide, it’s that reaching out for help isn’t an admission of defeat.
It’s an admission of commitment to doing whatever it takes to build a healthy relationship that lasts.
The healthiest, strongest couples are aware of this. And they’re not afraid to do something about it.